why do we, like, talk like this?

like, totally misunderstood: the history and future of a four-letter word

I've often found myself listening back to recordings of my own conversations and cringing at my liberal use of "like." It's scattered throughout my speech like confetti, punctuating thoughts and filling pauses. And I'm not alone in this self-criticism. You can't scroll past a video online of young women talking without the comments overflowing with mockery of their "like" usage. It's easy to dismiss it as a bad habit, a verbal crutch of the inarticulate. But what if we're all missing something crucial about this little word?

Here's the thing: "like" isn't just filler – it's more akin to a linguistic Swiss Army knife, a versatile tool that serves multiple functions in our daily conversations. Just as a Swiss Army knife conceals an array of useful implements within its unassuming exterior, "like" packs a surprising amount of communicative power into its four letters.

Let's unpack this idea a bit. Sociolinguist Valerie Fridland and speech coach Rhonda Khanhen say we use "like," we're often doing much more than we realize:

1. Quotation Marker: "She was like, 'No way!'" This usage allows us to paraphrase or approximate someone's words, tone, and even body language. It's a form of verbal storytelling that brings conversations to life.

2. Approximator: "It took like five hours." Here, "like" signals that we're giving an estimate rather than an exact figure. It acknowledges the subjective nature of experience, especially when it comes to things like time.

3. Hedge: "He's like a doctor or something." This use of "like" allows us to present information while leaving room for uncertainty or correction. It's a subtle way of softening our statements and avoiding over-commitment.

4. Discourse Marker: "Like, I don't even know where to begin." When used at the start of a sentence, "like" can signal a shift in topic or tone. It gives listeners a moment to adjust and prepare for what's coming next.

This multifunctionality of "like" is fascinating from a linguistic perspective, but it also opens up a whole can of worms when it comes to social perception and judgment.

Below, I’ll talk about

• The surprising research that challenges everything you thought you knew about "like"

• How young women drive linguistic innovation (and why they're criticized for it)

• The hidden biases in how we judge "proper" speech

• What happens to ‘like’ as we head into AI-generated writing and speech?