i feel like every young adult, and even teenager, should read this. it reminds me how all things boil down to how being human is not necessarily a ‘complex’ thing but rather a fluid experience - it’s a matter of adapting to those fluidities. brilliant!
this resonates, but I can't help but feel Dazed missed out by not fully attempting to highlight societal pressures shaping our relationships (of which the media is one route).
The push for intense, all-consuming friendships seems part of the larger trend where we're constantly urged to optimise our social circles for maximum impact or benefit, i.e. fetishization of social connections. We're increasingly judged not just on our own merits, but on the company we keep. This creates a pressure to curate our friendships strategically, which aligns with the overanalysis of relationships you mention.
Your point about the overuse of therapy-speak in friendships would make sense here. It seems we've taken useful tools for managing difficult relationships and misapplied them to all our social interactions, turning friendship into a kind of performance or strategic endeavor.
While you have embracing casual connections as a remedy, I think the challenge is larger than reframing our individual approach to friendships - it more requires pushing back against a culture that increasingly views all relationships through a lens of social capital and personal brand.
(and I think that might be a kind of impossible mission)
I think lonliness among the younger generation has definitely contributed to the popularity of these all consuming/ "high stakes" friendships. Alot of people these days do not even have one close friend, so naturally having a bff kind of friendship has become aspirational for alot of people.
i'm more talking about some of the unrealistic standards we impose on what it means to be 'close.' and i just don't think nurturing a friendship has to turn it into a 'high-stakes' relationship where everything is on the line... i hope that was clear in my piece. some of the strongest, closest friendships are those that can ebb and flow naturally, without the constant demand to prove their depth if that makes sense.
but my main point was that it’s okay to have different kinds of friendships in your life (each serving its own purpose) without expecting every single one to be all-consuming... u don't have to agree!
i feel like every young adult, and even teenager, should read this. it reminds me how all things boil down to how being human is not necessarily a ‘complex’ thing but rather a fluid experience - it’s a matter of adapting to those fluidities. brilliant!
Thank you for this!
this resonates, but I can't help but feel Dazed missed out by not fully attempting to highlight societal pressures shaping our relationships (of which the media is one route).
The push for intense, all-consuming friendships seems part of the larger trend where we're constantly urged to optimise our social circles for maximum impact or benefit, i.e. fetishization of social connections. We're increasingly judged not just on our own merits, but on the company we keep. This creates a pressure to curate our friendships strategically, which aligns with the overanalysis of relationships you mention.
Your point about the overuse of therapy-speak in friendships would make sense here. It seems we've taken useful tools for managing difficult relationships and misapplied them to all our social interactions, turning friendship into a kind of performance or strategic endeavor.
While you have embracing casual connections as a remedy, I think the challenge is larger than reframing our individual approach to friendships - it more requires pushing back against a culture that increasingly views all relationships through a lens of social capital and personal brand.
(and I think that might be a kind of impossible mission)
I love your perspective. Reading this opened my eyes to a new point of view, thank you :)
I think lonliness among the younger generation has definitely contributed to the popularity of these all consuming/ "high stakes" friendships. Alot of people these days do not even have one close friend, so naturally having a bff kind of friendship has become aspirational for alot of people.
True.
Beautifully said.
So are 'closest friendships' also made in heaven then? and an attempt to nurture a friendship be deemed 'high-stakes friendship'?
i'm more talking about some of the unrealistic standards we impose on what it means to be 'close.' and i just don't think nurturing a friendship has to turn it into a 'high-stakes' relationship where everything is on the line... i hope that was clear in my piece. some of the strongest, closest friendships are those that can ebb and flow naturally, without the constant demand to prove their depth if that makes sense.
but my main point was that it’s okay to have different kinds of friendships in your life (each serving its own purpose) without expecting every single one to be all-consuming... u don't have to agree!