Okay, wow, amazingly written and truly the perfect read alongside my morning tea. As someone who has always been obsessed with curating myself, this made me think about a lot of things... I realize how trying to find my authentic self has only led to a Russian doll situation: every time I think I've got my finger on who I am, I find another self.
The reason we are obsessed with authenticity in this age is because, I think, we are obsessed with curation. And the thing about curation is that it is performative - you know, the matching feeds and the specific wardrobe that perfectly reflects your personality. Reading how you've accepted your presence is a performance struck a chord with me, and I realized how helpful it would be to my psyche to do the same.
Excited to read more from you! I'm also definitely going to think of my top 3 values. Great Journaling prompt!
wow. so resonating with this - i'm a college student at duke, and young women here have been dealing with the burden of trying to be "effortless perfection" for generations. i've noticed that now, we're less concerned about being perfectly put together and more concerned with being perfectly messy. so paradoxical but it's manifesting in: "oh i pulled an all nighter so i'm struggling like everyone, but i styled my sweats still" or "oh man i got so screwed over by that guy but i'm not gonna talk about the deep vulnerabilities that awakened in me." it's so planned, but it's trying to use the currency of authenticity while still only showing the best parts of us.
Authenticity, as a concept, could be universal but, as a practice (I do think of it as a practice!), it’s highly subjective - in that it is just being true to oneself.
This piece reminds of a topic we discussed in class about ‘the constitution of the self’. From what i gathered, it was about the assumption of having a ‘true self within’ and surrounding that there’s social relations, norms/values, lived experiences, but some philosophers doubt if there’s a core like that. What stuck to me the most was the quote that got presented
‘Being oneself in another’. Especially in this pursuit of authenticity or looking authentic through consumption, maybe just being with others and knowing your values is the most authentic!
i really love this piece!! and as someone who has followed you for a while and really admire your writing, i do sense a certain reticence (or intention of curation) in your writing. i actually wrote a similar piece recently exploring my own relationship with public displays of vulnerability (being “authentic” if u will). i think because i only started writing only privately at first, i find it difficult to write without writing about personal experiences but lately i’ve sensed the need to perform creeping in as more people start to read my posts. but this essay made me rethink authenticity as a concept.
I have always understood the term "authentic" as being true to yourself. Living your life defined by what you think is good (isn't harmful to others) and not living to please others. That way, you become more 'accountable' to the things you do and say - as opposed to living as someone who has 'repressed' themselves to fit a certain box and is full of guilt, regret and shame.
I am fairly new on this journey myself. And I have scratched my head many times thinking why it's so hard for people to be authentic.... to be themselves like how they would like to be. And from reading your post, it's clear that you have something extremely precious between you two - psychological safety to fully explore yourselves without judgement.
Great piece. I wonder what is your take on the “Good Vibes Syndrome” (if I can call it this way), that is on constant display in the digital age and seems to have artificially removed tragedy from our lives (at least for mass consumption) — a complete reversal of what the Ancient Greeks taught us.
Oh my gosh, my comment is so late but this is one of the best articles/essays I’ve ever read. I’m going to think back on this so many times in the future, I can already tell.
As awkward as it feels I will put a short one I wrote as an answer to a question I asked, it was similar to what Madeline asked “how do ppl even know who they are”
Can’t go wrong with establishing your personal values.
In a workshop I did in 2019, we were asked to identify our values. One exercise stuck with me:
The coach asked, “What bothers you? Like what really gets under your skin?”
The idea was that what irritates you often points to something you deeply value.
For example, I can't stand seeing someone litter. Like what the f is that? It really gets to me.
After reflecting on it, I realized it’s because I value mother earth and being good to her.
From there, other core values naturally surfaced.
It’s a simple yet powerful way to start identifying personal values.
Okay, wow, amazingly written and truly the perfect read alongside my morning tea. As someone who has always been obsessed with curating myself, this made me think about a lot of things... I realize how trying to find my authentic self has only led to a Russian doll situation: every time I think I've got my finger on who I am, I find another self.
The reason we are obsessed with authenticity in this age is because, I think, we are obsessed with curation. And the thing about curation is that it is performative - you know, the matching feeds and the specific wardrobe that perfectly reflects your personality. Reading how you've accepted your presence is a performance struck a chord with me, and I realized how helpful it would be to my psyche to do the same.
Excited to read more from you! I'm also definitely going to think of my top 3 values. Great Journaling prompt!
wow. so resonating with this - i'm a college student at duke, and young women here have been dealing with the burden of trying to be "effortless perfection" for generations. i've noticed that now, we're less concerned about being perfectly put together and more concerned with being perfectly messy. so paradoxical but it's manifesting in: "oh i pulled an all nighter so i'm struggling like everyone, but i styled my sweats still" or "oh man i got so screwed over by that guy but i'm not gonna talk about the deep vulnerabilities that awakened in me." it's so planned, but it's trying to use the currency of authenticity while still only showing the best parts of us.
Authenticity, as a concept, could be universal but, as a practice (I do think of it as a practice!), it’s highly subjective - in that it is just being true to oneself.
Lovely piece, Maalvika:)
I love doing values work with my therapy clients (from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) and this perfectly articulated WHY! Gorgeous piece 🫶🏻
gorgeous, focused, compelling, so good. ty for this perspective!!!
love this so much and resonate with this so much. thank you for putting into words what I have been feeling!!!!
This piece reminds of a topic we discussed in class about ‘the constitution of the self’. From what i gathered, it was about the assumption of having a ‘true self within’ and surrounding that there’s social relations, norms/values, lived experiences, but some philosophers doubt if there’s a core like that. What stuck to me the most was the quote that got presented
‘Being oneself in another’. Especially in this pursuit of authenticity or looking authentic through consumption, maybe just being with others and knowing your values is the most authentic!
i really love this piece!! and as someone who has followed you for a while and really admire your writing, i do sense a certain reticence (or intention of curation) in your writing. i actually wrote a similar piece recently exploring my own relationship with public displays of vulnerability (being “authentic” if u will). i think because i only started writing only privately at first, i find it difficult to write without writing about personal experiences but lately i’ve sensed the need to perform creeping in as more people start to read my posts. but this essay made me rethink authenticity as a concept.
My Top Three Values:
Love
Safety
Community
A Perfect Piece
I have always understood the term "authentic" as being true to yourself. Living your life defined by what you think is good (isn't harmful to others) and not living to please others. That way, you become more 'accountable' to the things you do and say - as opposed to living as someone who has 'repressed' themselves to fit a certain box and is full of guilt, regret and shame.
I am fairly new on this journey myself. And I have scratched my head many times thinking why it's so hard for people to be authentic.... to be themselves like how they would like to be. And from reading your post, it's clear that you have something extremely precious between you two - psychological safety to fully explore yourselves without judgement.
Great piece. I wonder what is your take on the “Good Vibes Syndrome” (if I can call it this way), that is on constant display in the digital age and seems to have artificially removed tragedy from our lives (at least for mass consumption) — a complete reversal of what the Ancient Greeks taught us.
Oh my gosh, my comment is so late but this is one of the best articles/essays I’ve ever read. I’m going to think back on this so many times in the future, I can already tell.
As awkward as it feels I will put a short one I wrote as an answer to a question I asked, it was similar to what Madeline asked “how do ppl even know who they are”
https://open.substack.com/pub/re7ab11/p/what-landscape-are-you?r=5jevg3&utm_medium=ios
Brilliant 👏🏾 Brilliant 👏🏾 Brilliant 👏🏾