I'm from a lower middle class family and pursuing academia (sociology), and did my senior thesis about the "growing pains" (cute nickname for systemic exclusion) that comes with upward mobility-- it was centered around Bourdieu's theory of "habitus" which argues that social position influences tastes, attitudes, worldview, and cultural capital which reproduces social positions and class standing. The idea of being a "straddler" between two worlds (of class and taste) really shows the pyschological effects of trying to access a world that feels inaccessible on so many levels- but as you say "your discomfort isn't evidence that you don't belong; it's evidence that you're brave enough to belong somewhere new." I hope academia goes through a paradigm shift or something, because so many people from outside of this elite hegemony are breaking these barriers. If not, it will continue to be a self aggrandizing echo chamber of elite people researching non-elite behaviors for elite consumption/pathologizing. Maybe I am just speaking about sociology now...
Needed this! thank you :) you should check out Habitus if you are not aware of it already! Very cathartic (but also upsetting?)
It took me years at my corporate consulting job to realize that I didn’t really have imposter syndrome—I was nearly always confident about my work and abilities—but that my anxiety when presenting to clients was that /they/ would assume I was underqualified or too green, and cut me off or just turn to my manager. Even if someone overcomes their own sense of insecurity, others may assume it for them, which is exactly the fun-house feeling you’ve described!
As someone who’s been asked countless times how they are dealing with imposter syndrome upon joining a prestigious school, this resonated with me and I completely agree with the gender bias surrounding women in new environments. We are allowed to be confident in our abilities even when we are beginners and a lack of confidence should never denote incapacity!
I really appreciate this essay. As a woman in engineering - first PhD then industry- I’ve tried out and then resisted fully participating in the women’s societies, which is a bit of a shame. The conversations normally center around how to handle imposter syndrome, how to speak up when you’re shy and quiet, etc. It often feels like we’re ascribing typical female characteristics to all women, perhaps far too broadly. It then makes you feel guilty if you’re confident and outspoken, or simply dealing with insecurities that don’t manifest as imposter syndrome. I’ve found myself feeling like an outsider in the women’s groups too, because of the narrow focus. Too much discussion of these things can make you fall into the pattern as well. It’s a challenge to navigate.
This completely rewired the way I approach feeling discomfort and insecurity in academia. I am in awe of the way you describe "imposter syndrome" as a "sort of cognitive tax levied on those who must constantly code-switch between their authentic selves and institutional expectations". I often feel so detached from my curiosity and hunger to learn, as it's always been boxed with external metrics of "success" and my cultural identity. I love the idea of embracing all facets of the learning process and putting growth and courage at the forefront of discomfort, within a society that often pushes the alternative.
This has been one of my favorite reads this month!
I never thought about how deliberate I was with using imposter syndrome as a means to describe what I was going through joining college in another country. This made me realize how much of an environmental problem it is with the institution and it’s preceptors simply showing me in subtle ways that I am not supposed to be there. We can’t even call it anxiety because that entails it’s a nonexistent threat when is very much caused by a context of things that we know are real.
This article gives form to so many hunches I've had in recent years. Especially about machineries of exclusion. I could never quite place my finger on why certain spaces I was meant to feel proud to be a part of did not feel that way. Thank you for wording 'frontier tension'. I love this idea so much!
Incredibly insightful and just what I needed in this phase of my life: the youngest in my office, with the least amount of experience. Everyday feels like a hurdle, and I've consistently ignored the unwelcoming energy of my older colleagues, - I laugh along with them at their jokes which often come at my expense.
I've cut it off to imposter syndrome, and even friends and family tell me that it's that. They say I just "need to be nicer" or "more outgoing" or that I "just have a bitch face" or maybe I'm "too quiet". I kept wondering if I just got lucky, or if I must have somehow lied in my interview, or done something, but I have to keep reminding myself I deserve my place and I got it because I have the ability to get the job done.
I think I will return to this piece, again and again. Thank you for writing, you are brilliant and incredibly articulative.
I totally agree with this idea. Systems are often not built for us but instead of changing them we repackage our discomfort in “imposter syndrome” without questioning the system itself. My new motto : “where I place my foot is where I belong”
I'm from a lower middle class family and pursuing academia (sociology), and did my senior thesis about the "growing pains" (cute nickname for systemic exclusion) that comes with upward mobility-- it was centered around Bourdieu's theory of "habitus" which argues that social position influences tastes, attitudes, worldview, and cultural capital which reproduces social positions and class standing. The idea of being a "straddler" between two worlds (of class and taste) really shows the pyschological effects of trying to access a world that feels inaccessible on so many levels- but as you say "your discomfort isn't evidence that you don't belong; it's evidence that you're brave enough to belong somewhere new." I hope academia goes through a paradigm shift or something, because so many people from outside of this elite hegemony are breaking these barriers. If not, it will continue to be a self aggrandizing echo chamber of elite people researching non-elite behaviors for elite consumption/pathologizing. Maybe I am just speaking about sociology now...
Needed this! thank you :) you should check out Habitus if you are not aware of it already! Very cathartic (but also upsetting?)
It took me years at my corporate consulting job to realize that I didn’t really have imposter syndrome—I was nearly always confident about my work and abilities—but that my anxiety when presenting to clients was that /they/ would assume I was underqualified or too green, and cut me off or just turn to my manager. Even if someone overcomes their own sense of insecurity, others may assume it for them, which is exactly the fun-house feeling you’ve described!
Love the idea of replacing “imposter syndrome” with beginner-friendly language — so well written!
As someone who’s been asked countless times how they are dealing with imposter syndrome upon joining a prestigious school, this resonated with me and I completely agree with the gender bias surrounding women in new environments. We are allowed to be confident in our abilities even when we are beginners and a lack of confidence should never denote incapacity!
I really appreciate this essay. As a woman in engineering - first PhD then industry- I’ve tried out and then resisted fully participating in the women’s societies, which is a bit of a shame. The conversations normally center around how to handle imposter syndrome, how to speak up when you’re shy and quiet, etc. It often feels like we’re ascribing typical female characteristics to all women, perhaps far too broadly. It then makes you feel guilty if you’re confident and outspoken, or simply dealing with insecurities that don’t manifest as imposter syndrome. I’ve found myself feeling like an outsider in the women’s groups too, because of the narrow focus. Too much discussion of these things can make you fall into the pattern as well. It’s a challenge to navigate.
This completely rewired the way I approach feeling discomfort and insecurity in academia. I am in awe of the way you describe "imposter syndrome" as a "sort of cognitive tax levied on those who must constantly code-switch between their authentic selves and institutional expectations". I often feel so detached from my curiosity and hunger to learn, as it's always been boxed with external metrics of "success" and my cultural identity. I love the idea of embracing all facets of the learning process and putting growth and courage at the forefront of discomfort, within a society that often pushes the alternative.
This has been one of my favorite reads this month!
Fascinating breakdown of imposter syndrome! Thank you for your beautiful words!
I never thought about how deliberate I was with using imposter syndrome as a means to describe what I was going through joining college in another country. This made me realize how much of an environmental problem it is with the institution and it’s preceptors simply showing me in subtle ways that I am not supposed to be there. We can’t even call it anxiety because that entails it’s a nonexistent threat when is very much caused by a context of things that we know are real.
Brilliant essay!!
🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭 wow‼️‼️‼️💌💌💌💌
Brilliant
so well written, so relevant and so fresh. brilliant!
Imposter syndrome is such a victim blame-y idea. Thank you for writing this
This article gives form to so many hunches I've had in recent years. Especially about machineries of exclusion. I could never quite place my finger on why certain spaces I was meant to feel proud to be a part of did not feel that way. Thank you for wording 'frontier tension'. I love this idea so much!
Incredibly insightful and just what I needed in this phase of my life: the youngest in my office, with the least amount of experience. Everyday feels like a hurdle, and I've consistently ignored the unwelcoming energy of my older colleagues, - I laugh along with them at their jokes which often come at my expense.
I've cut it off to imposter syndrome, and even friends and family tell me that it's that. They say I just "need to be nicer" or "more outgoing" or that I "just have a bitch face" or maybe I'm "too quiet". I kept wondering if I just got lucky, or if I must have somehow lied in my interview, or done something, but I have to keep reminding myself I deserve my place and I got it because I have the ability to get the job done.
I think I will return to this piece, again and again. Thank you for writing, you are brilliant and incredibly articulative.
Thoughtful, insightful, and brilliantly articulated, as always!
I totally agree with this idea. Systems are often not built for us but instead of changing them we repackage our discomfort in “imposter syndrome” without questioning the system itself. My new motto : “where I place my foot is where I belong”